Dream Job

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well....

Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

~Psalm 139:13-14,16

"Where are you going to work?".... "What are you going to do?".  Now that I am preparing to enter into my last year of nursing school, these are questions that are seemingly thrown at me all the time.  When I was a little girl, the question of "What are you going to be when you grow up" never phased me.  "I'm going to be a nurse!" was always my ready reply.  I never debated between two careers, I never doubted my desire to be a nurse, I never questioned my motive.  But now that I am approaching the finish line of receiving my BSN, that answer is no longer adequate.  I now must decide where exactly I would prefer to work.

Labor and Delivery Rotation

For nurses, the job opportunities are endless, and the options exciting.  Coming into nursing school, I already had a strong feeling as to where I would like to work, but through each of my clinical rotations, I am discovering several other areas that I surprisingly really enjoy.  These include OB, OR, and Mental Health. The area that I have always loved, and would still be my #1 choice, is OB.  I love everything about OB! Prior to nursing school, I really believed that I would love working in the NICU, and would probably like Labor and Delivery (L&D).... but what I discovered is that I love the NICU, L&D, and Postpartum.  Basically anything involving babies. 

Children truly are a gift from the Lord, and there is nothing that can be compared to the awe and wonder that the miracle of birth inspires within me.  Each day I could not wait to get to clinical (which is NOT normal for me), and was always very reluctant to leave.  I will never forget the name of my first NICU baby... I will never forget the tears and goosebumps that seeing my first birth gave me... and I will never forget showing a brand-new daddy how to swaddle his newborn son, and then seeing his face light-up with excitement when he did it himself.  How blessed I would be to have the gift of daily walking beside families, as they turn the page to this new chapter of their lives. 

 Birth and new life can be joyous, exciting, terrifying, nerve-wracking, or heart-breaking... but it is always momentous, moving, emotional, and unforgettable.

Ordinary Moments, Extraordinary Memories

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality." ~ Emily Dickinson

 Missing someone is about those special moments when something happens and you turn to catch their eye and know that they're thinking the same thing you are... and they're not there. It's about those unforgettable times in your life, when something incredible happens and your first impulse is to call and tell them... but you can't.  It lies in the simple moments of life that you would normally share with them... those ordinary, day-to-day moments that are seemingly unimportant, but suddenly become times that you would give anything to experience again.  Those are the moments that fill your memory the most.

            When their presence is suddenly missing from activities, family get-togethers, lazy days, and quiet moments, the natural response is to wonder where they are, remember they are gone, and then feel the pain of their absence once more.  The pain in that moment is sudden, natural, involuntary.  But what about the moment after that? That second moment is the determining factor in how you will live your life.  Will that second moment also be consumed with sorrow, pain, and anger? Or will you fill it with something else?  Therein lies the key to peace.

            You can fill that second moment with memories and feel sad again, or you can fill that second moment with memories, and smile... Smile because you can see them laughing... Smile because you can remember them telling that same old joke again... Smile because you can still feel their arms around you in a warm embrace.... Smile because those moments happened.   Your memories of that person are not given to you to make you hurt each time you think of them.  God gives us those memories to remind us of his extraordinary blessings.  God gives the memories to tide us over till we can see them again. God gives the memories so that a part of them remains always with us. 

            So remember, and be at peace.  Don't ignore the pain. Don't deny the sorrow.  But embrace missing them as validation for the deep love you shared.  If the ordinary moments become extraordinary remembrances, how much more amazing will heavenly moments be?

"I'm kind of homesick for a country
To which I've never been before.
No sad goodbyes will there be spoken
for time won't matter anymore."

Remember.... and smile.